We were at our friend’s place the other night, our married friends. Some partying had been happening and I’m not sure how we got on the topic, but the wife made some comment about how getting married didn’t matter and it was just a waste of money (or something along those lines). Her reasoning was because nothing changes, so you might as well just stay a non-married couple. Her husband agreed, and chimed in and made a joke about the only thing that changed was he pays more of the bills (they keep separate accounts). However, they have only been married a year, so the husband also said well, maybe the tax cuts will make a difference, the wife agreed. [SIDE NOTE: I think the fact they both agree marriage hasn’t changed anything just proves they have a good one. :) personal opinion of course.]
I immediately tried to put the kibosh on this discussion as my boyfriend was sitting there and I hope one day he will be my husband. I’ve been assured by him in the past that he would like to get married at some point (who knows when that will be, lol), but even so part of me is concerned. But why?
Does marriage really matter in the long run? Would it make a difference either way?
I don’t know, but I do know I still want to get married. Blame society, blame the little girl in me, I don’t know, but I know I want it. I was contemplating this topic on my drive to work yesterday morning (an hour commute allows for plenty - too much? - thinking time!) and I came to the following conclusion.
A wedding is not meaningless. A marriage is definitely not meaningless. You may not feel them necessary for your life, but they are not meaningless.
I don’t need a big wedding, which is not a new thought. In fact, I’d love to just get married in someone’s back yard somewhere and have a big cook out, I think that sounds fantastic. So, the argument that it costs a lot of money doesn’t bother me. I mean sure it still won’t be super cheap, but I’m thrifty. Also, I want the party! Who wouldn’t? I agree that a relationship shouldn’t or doesn’t need to really change after a marriage. I don’t have expectations either way, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want the symbolic act of a ceremony. I think traditions are nice...and that’s kind of how I look at a wedding. It’s not religious for me at all or about tax breaks (although that’s a possible bonus, ha).
It’s just about sharing the love.
Ultimately, love is a simple idea. I think. The act of loving can be more difficult I suppose, but it’s a simple idea. It’s joyous...and infectious (in a good way). I love Brian more than I could possibly explain. He makes me a better version of myself, I care about him and enjoy being with him. End of story. To me, getting married is a symbol of your commitment and love for one another. The actual wedding is a vehicle in which to share that love with others that you love! It’s the one day that your family and friends get to partake and share in the love you share with your partner. It may sound corny, but I think it’s a beautiful idea. And ultimately, it’s something that I would like to do.
What do you think?