Showing posts with label contemplative. Show all posts
Showing posts with label contemplative. Show all posts

July 2, 2012

Dare to Dream.


Today, I am going to give you a glimpse into my inner psychosis. Into my subconscious. Into the depths of my crazy mind. I’m going to tell you about a dream I had last week. On a nightly basis I have very weird dreams. Seriously. I mean lots of people have weird dreams when they are super tired or under the influence of NyQuil (I have weirder and more vivid dreams in those situations, or don’t dream at all). However, the dream I’m going to tell you about was under normal circumstances. Let me set the scene.

I’m in my watermelon,cotton sundress and black leggings. I’m also wearing my teal crossover purse that I wear everyday. I can’t tell you where I am, I’m not sure. I am in a small group of people, some faces familiar, some not. The faces change throughout the dream. I feel like maybe I’m on some sort of tour. We are wandering around in a old home. No not home, mansion. Someone is telling us about the various rooms and pointing at things. I feel damp, or sweaty...specifically on my rear. I reach back and feel around on my dress....oh. my. god. I have shit my pants...er my leggings. I’m suddenly I know this is exactly what has happened, though I don’t know when. I position my purse over my bum in an attempt to cover my predicament. I go on the hunt for a bathroom like a madwoman. One of the people who were pointing and talking at us earlier tell me where a public restroom is. I search. I keep searching for what feels like forever. I can’t find the bathroom. I go back to this person, they tell me again. I try again and still have no luck. Then the tour (or whatever) leaves and for some reason I have to go with. People are talking to me and standing near me like I don’t have shit in my pants. Finally, someone I don’t know steps out of the shadows and opens a door. “In here”, they say. This someone is genderless. It’s a small, arched door under a huge, almost majestic staircase. I don’t ask questions, I just walk in. The door closes behind me, I’m surrounded by darkness. I feel my heart rate increase and then...

I wake up.

What. The. Hell. First I would like to say that, with the exception of when I was a baby, I have never shit myself. I will not lie, there have been a couple close calls, but it did not happen and an illness and/or some intense mexican was involved. Okay, so let’s break this down and explore some possible reasons for this ridiculous dream.

Reason 1
I did, in fact have some mexican food the day of this dream and it had been working its way through my system. :/ Haha, TMI?

Reason 2
There is some deeper meaning that relates to what’s happening in my life right now. Hmm, so I was searching a lot in this dream and never found what I was looking for. That could definitely apply to my life currently, although that’s a pretty broad statement and probably applies to many people’s lives. I was also very concerned about hiding the fact that I shit myself (obviously) - so maybe I worried about getting caught in an embarrassing situation? Lastly, I ended up getting closed into a dark room. Maybe I’m feeling trapped and am unsure how to proceed? Lol, interpreting things is just so broad and applies to everything.

Pretty sure it was just the mexican food. :)

Oh and since it’s technically Music Monday, I’ll leave you with this. Which is completely unrelated other than the title, but it’s just oh so good!


xo, kass

June 6, 2012

Lost Passion? [style log]


Wet dreary days always leave me feeling contemplative...and calm. So last week we had such a day and I started to think of things I am passionate about, or tried to. I attempted to make a mental list and I’m sorry to say it wasn’t easy for me at all. Is that sad or what? I mean, I find lots of things interesting enough...but I wouldn’t call myself passionate about them.


I want to be passionate about photography, but am I? If I were, wouldn’t I find more time for it in my life? Or maybe I'm just overthinking it. I’m passionate about reading I think. I have a thirst for it. I enjoy reading immensely and I feel strange or off when I’m “in between” books or just lack the time to read. I think maybe I would like to write a book someday...about what? Who knows.

[sweater/f21 :: skirt/thrifted :: belt/f21 :: boots/merona via target}

I think I have a passion to be creative. To find creativity somehow. It’s hard though, most of my day I am surrounded by an environment that stifles me. I wish I could find a way to transform that somehow, but I haven’t a clue how. Maybe if I just start with my desk space and fill it with things I find inspiring or things that make me smile. I have pictures of loved ones, so that’s a start. I think I’m going to do more though. Wait . Wow, ok I literally just got an idea. I’ve been wanting to create more digital art, so maybe I should take some quotes I like and make some typography artwork...something like all those lovely quotes I find on pinterest. Yes, I think that sounds like a good idea. Then I can print a few and hang them around my desk.


I do think I am passionate about photography...and art in general. Just because I don’t always create things doesn’t mean I’m not passionate about it, right? Right. I mean, I don’t create music, but I’d call myself passionate about music. I couldn’t survive my day to day without it.

I know I said this not too long ago, but it’s important enough to say again. I want need to focus more on the people and things that bring me the most joy. I always put things off and procrastinate, but life is short, so why wait to start tomorrow when I can start today?

Ha, let’s just help I can hold myself to that thought.

xo,kassie
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